dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
