hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
