It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
