I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
only if we run a train.
done.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
