perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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