I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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