A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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