Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
