These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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