also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
