Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sext me about skeletons
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
