the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
