I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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