hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
