Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
