i barfeds in our rink
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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