the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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