im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
