Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
what day is it and did you see me today?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
