dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
