I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
