what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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