Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
