sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
