do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
