Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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