Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
