Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
