If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
