i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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