i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
