Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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