..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
4 words: hood of his car
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
