jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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