I wish I could punch you in the face.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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