YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
