My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So much rum. So many feels.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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