I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
