i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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