and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
