THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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