can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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