Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
