i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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