you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
