What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
