know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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