my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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