Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
