she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
