Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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