True but thats because hes a fetus.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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