I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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