my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
