i think i have two assholes
I got her a Nickelback box set.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
