she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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